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How to help your High School Child and Beyond

Gift of failure10

Gift of Failure-Episode 10

I know the title sounds like the next episode of Star Trek, but for me it is a reality in the next year! I am seeing the effects of anxiety already rearing its head in my house. Some created my me and trying to parent like my parents did, some of it the culture my hubby came from. A high school child has so many worries about fitting in, being cool, and to add having to get good grades or they wont get in to college or get that scholarship doesn’t help. We never had that thought going in to high school back in our day but for our kids it is a reality. Listen to my thoughts on this chapter about high school kids and the beyond!

Stresses of each High School Childs specific Grade

high school and beyond

  • Freshman-Fitting in when they really have no idea what high school will be like. For us it is the 3 towns in our district coming together. I find being in sports will help my  kids because it already gives them a group to belong to. In our district we have events with the older kids like sports where former middle school players coach their town and the kids meet potential fellow athletes to hopefully make them feel better. Our drama club is including the middle school kids in their musical this year and I am sure this will help them adjust a bit easier meeting kids with the same interests.
  • Sophomore-This year is probably the easiest she says. They have found their grove. stress is not tool high and they feel comfortable in their school.
  • Junior year is where it goes down. The kids are told everything they do depends on what they do here. The Author wants us to tell our kids that it is what they have done till now not this year that makes a difference.
  • Senior Year-Some are ready to leave and move on and some want the experience to last till the very last minute.

Biggest Tip in High School

gift of failure

Let them choose their college. Let them fill out the applications. We had a agent come talk to our kids about recruitment. It was 30 minutes before he even discussed sports. The first thing he asked was what kids of classroom do you see your self in? How far from your parents do you want to be. The look on the kids face was priceless when they realized that yes that division 1 school in the south looked great, but were they ready for that and the 200 plus kids in a room they would be learning with!!

When he got to the sports part this was huge! He said for them to contact potential coaches not with a text or email but a phone call! In our day and age our kids have no idea how to talk to a person on the phone or even in person.  The key was, they are to contact, not the parents. They are the ones who will have to work with this coach for the next 4 years not you and this is a great time to show autonomy and whey they should be there on this team!

Final Thoughts

Thinking back on how my parents were in high school and college they did a great job. Maybe a bit much on grades emphasis but that’s what we were told to do you get good grade and you get into college. Now a days our kids are over scheduled, stressed out from school work volume and  volunteering every minute they are not playing sports.  Are they really appreciating the experience of high school. The stress of getting a scholarship at 12 for sports or academics seems crazy! So I do feel this chapter has made me think and that in the end my child’s success depends on how I support them. Their happiness and living their best life are my ultimate goal as a parent. I will enjoy my last year before I have to buckle in for the ride.

Paula Ward Aka TuTuFitMama

 

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